Saturday Paper Review: 20th June 2009

Here's The Talking Clock's guide to the stories not to be missed in this Saturday's papers:

The Guardian have an interview with Gormless in which he says of being PM: "I could walk away from this tomorrow" and reveals that he thinks he could "move to teaching". Our response to the first part of that is 'yes please'. But please don't inflict yourself on the children. Take note, too, of his use of the phrase 'common purpose'. Coming after his regular use of the phrase 'new world order', we reckon he's deliberately trying to get talked about on all of those conspiracy websites we read when we get bored.

The Independent talks about the cosy Brussels stitch up of the British financial sector and says that France's President Sarkozy has undermined Gormless's claims to have done the right thing by the UK. Also take note of the following sentence and as you read it, absolutely know that - especially when it comes to the EU - politicians are renowned for double-speak. So, repeating this as The Independent report it, Gormless is claiming to have defended us from: "the threat that British taxpayers could have to bail out European banks against the Government's wishes". And you know what that probably means, don't you?

Two days before the new Speaker of the House of Commons is chosen, Frank Field tells The Telegraph why he's throwing his support behind Ann Widdecombe for the job. We'll have to stop agreeing like this, Frank.

Away from politics, The Times carries a report on demands for a public inquiry into the events in London on 7/7. The most interesting aspect of it is their comments box where the weight of public opinion from around the globe seems to suggest that 7/7 was an inside job, "a black op", or - put another way - "a false flag" operation. We were quite surprised to see readers of The Times questioning the official version of events. We make no comment.

The Daily Mail has what it calls a 'special investigation' into the backstory of the race attacks that took place in Belfast and it asks who is "really to blame". There's also an article by Peter Oborne in which he suggests that the Conservatives are falling out... over Tony Blair. Strange, but true?

The Times also poses the most ridiculous question of the day when it asks: "Is the countryside racist?". No dear. Last time I checked, the countryside was lots of fields, trees, cows, pigs, sheep, the occasional stream, the chug of a tractor and the faint aroma of animal poo...

And The Sun has a lovely photograph of the world's most expensive football player wearing nowt but a pair of red shorts with his legs wide open... and someone's head bobbing around his crotch area.

Enjoy your weekend.