Sunday Paper Review: 21st June 2009

You don't want to hear any more about MP's expenses, do you? The Talking Clock is totally bored of being outraged now. So, while all that stuff is in the newspapers in abundance, we're moving on... but there's still plenty to be outraged at if you like that kind of thing.

The Observer, for example, reports on a "confidential memo" (or at least it was) which it says outlined plans to provoke the war with Iraq. This one will cause an almighty row, we feel. The newspaper also notes that there's a separate inquiry going on in The Netherlands that will publish it's report in November. So, The Talking Clock wonders whether it's worth putting £10 on Gormless calling an October General Election..?

The Independent on Sunday picks up on what many other papers have which is the assertion that Tony Blair was instrumental in getting the Iraq inquiry made private, but the IoS also ponders whether any move to hold the Iraq inquiry in public would scupper Tony Blair's hopes of becoming the EU President. Oooh, do we sniff conspiracy theory in the air? We do like one of those.

Meanwhile, the Sunday Times reveals that Gormless is far from secure as, it says, the Cabinet turned on him last week and started openly questioning his tactics for taking on the Tories. There's a "cabinet split" about our Gormless, apparently. Didn't half a dozen who couldn't abide Gormless just this minute walk? And those that remained are still split? Oooh, that imminent summer Parliamentary recess - will it be a curse or a blessing for our Unelected PM..?

The Mail on Sunday has a story which speculates on Gormless resigning BEFORE the next General Election to avoid suffering a humiliating defeat. They suggest he could announce he's going in the New Year. Only another six months of ruining the country and gifting us lock, stock and barrel to the European Union, then...

However, before proud British patriots get too excited at the hopes of having a country left to try and pull back from Brussels, the News of the World carries an interview-ette in which Gormless insists he will lead Labour into the next General Election. Which, in a bittersweet way, we're rather pleased about... for somewhat 'sadistic pleasure' reasons, you understand.

Now, we've waited a week for an official response from the Tories over Ken Clarke's comments on BBC1's The Politics Show last Sunday. Still nothing official, but there's a report in The Telegraph which says David Cameron has been telling Conservative MPs not to listen to Ken Clarke on the matter - that they're still as opposed to the Lisbon Treaty as ever and that Ken Clarke has been "slapped down" over his comments. The article is supported in a comment piece by the ever likable Dan Hannan who tries to reassure his followers (The Talking Clock included) that David Cameron's supposed eurosceptic position is for real while accusing Peter Mandelson of sacrificing the Labour Party on the table of EU subservience. This leaves us in a quandary. We like Dan Hannan. We mostly trust Dan Hannan. We want to believe Dan Hannan. But do we trust any British politician not to betray our nation over Europe anymore? Maybe the Conservatives should make their manifesto a legally binding document, somehow...