Sunday Paper Review: 05 July 2009

Before starting this week's review, we thought we'd share this great new video from musician Dan Reed which makes fantastic use of a brilliant speech by Charlie Chaplin in his film The Great Dictator. To understand this blog and what we stand for, watch this video...

The Sunday Times reports that senior civil servants are threatening to quit unless Shaun Woodward - Gormless's political tactics man - is booted out. The newspaper reports that there is a great deal of concern over the state of public finances and civil servants are - far from 'investment' or '10% cuts' - having to draw up plans to cut public spending by a colossal 20%. The Sunday Times also claims that Peter Mandelson thinks the role of Shaun Woodward as Buffoon's adviser has led to a tactical mistake on the economy and that he was so irritated that he refused to attend a strategy meeting if Woodward was going to be present - and, indeed, also wants Woodward gone.

The Mail on Sunday reports that Labour are planning on whacking up the cost of National Insurance after the General Election - apparently in order to pay for care of the elderly. Hmmmm. Well, nobody has got any money after the endless taxes, the huge cost of food, domestic energy... blah, blah, blah. Feel free. Tax us some more. But please remember to leave a little of everything you take from us to open a network of soup kitchens and bread queues. Looks like that's where we're all headed.

Another ZaNuLiebour rift story dominates in the Sunday Telegraph which reports that the announcement of the cancellation of compulsory biometric identity cards stunned Downing Street - because new Home Secretary Alan Johnson did it off his own back without consulting his Government colleagues. The lone operation has - according to the Sunday Telegraph - caused a row between Johnson and Gormless. The Talking Clock would like to publicly thank Alan Johnson and give him our sympathy if he has got into grief... but he has taken a tiny footstep towards stalling the totalitarianism of the wicked ZaNuLiebour machine. If he genuinely wants to come over all civil liberties defender as part of a solo mission, he can have our support. However, we're not convinced by any of it. We're pleased Alan Johnson has slowed the onslaught, but the biometric identity card scheme has NOT been scrapped. It's been toned down this side of an election and can soon be cranked up again afterwards. We want the ID card scheme - and, more importantly, the sinister database that is still being built and which hides behind the cards - completely scrapped and chucked in the bin, never to be revived again. Nasty, nasty controlling and freedom-hating ZaNuLiebour...

Talking of control, the Independent on Sunday is reporting that - not content with using batons against non-protesters, assaulting peaceful protesters, searching anybody they fancy, locking folk up for nine-hundred years without charge (or whatever it currently is) and tasering people who are face down on the ground - the next wonderful thing that anybody who wants to protest or step out of line might have to face is a lovely water cannon. Yup, the IoS says it has seen documents showing how plans are afoot to bring water cannon to Britain - yet another tool to control us all with. We have to laugh now. We have a control freak Government and a public that dare not think outside of the authorised thought patterns else something dreadful might happen to us. All in the name of public service, naturally. Oh Mr. Orwell, do stop rolling round in that coffin... ickle man-on-the-street is a member of the public and therefore evil - we deserve to be coshed at the will of our 'public servants', obviously. All part of the service. Now see, if you'd been a banker or a politician, you could have just been given money - billions even, but as you're a member of the public, you just get stamped on for wrong thinking.

If all this State oppression of the individual is a bit gloomy, then there is a 'David and Goliath' story in The Observer. It reports how a HIV positive man - Paul Thorn - from Sussex who campaigns on health issues has virtually single-handedly shamed the US into overturning a two decade long travel ban into the States for those living with the virus. The individual concerned is to be applauded for his stance and bravery - and the US is to be congratulated for finally ending a one-sided, judgemental and discriminatory policy. Princess Diana shaking hands with an HIV positive man was a very long time ago...

And finally... the News of the World has a story in which it is suggested that the President of Real Madrid football club wants to end the English Premier League by snaffling the top four clubs to play in a permanent European Super League. Oh, go ahead. Most footie fans can't afford to get into the grounds of most Premier League clubs anyway. Take the big four clubs. Take them all. We'll all save the money from not going to pay those huge rises in National Insurance that we were looking at earlier.

Sigh!