Sunday Paper Review: 27th September 2009

The Sunday Express has a report on how the British taxpayer has coughed up for 25 MILLION gallons of heavily subsidised EU farmer's milk... which is simply being thrown away in fields all over Europe under the Common Agricultural Policy. Meanwhile, UKIP's Marta Andreasen blows another whistle on the EU. Apparently, 1.5 billion euros were given to a country to help improve it's security. But the money has not apparently gone through the appropriate channels and is being siphoned off to pay for terrorism. Wonder if that's real terrorism or ZaNuLiebour's "thinking for yourself" variety?

The Conservatives may be forced to show their hand on the EU Constitutional... err... Lisbon Treaty (same thing) at their party conference if a report in The Independent on Sunday is to be believed. Though do we really want to believe an article that suggests that "Tory right" MPs and "hardliners" led by "controversial" MEP Daniel Hannan are "mobilising" for an "ambush" of the party leadership? Such emotive hogwash. Can we try and re-write that for the Independent?

How about this. "Proud patriot Dan Hannan MEP may or may not want to demand Tory leaders honour their promise on a referendum over the EU Lisbon Treaty. Hannan's sensible party colleagues are aware that the British public are very concerned that the European Union is an undemocratic dictatorship and are writing to MPs telling them that they want their country back".

Oh goodness sake. Just when we thought we might soon see the end of the liberty hating, freedom banning ZaNuLiebour idiots, today's Sunday Times carries an article which may well be seen as a job application - from Peter Mandelson to work for a likely Conservative government. Coming on the eve of the Labour Party conference, such an utterence from the biggest name in the Labour party surely spells their demise. Such a relief for us all, huh? Mandelson - aka 'Lord Voldemort' - is quoted by the broadsheet as saying of such a proposition: "Of course, it wouldn’t be serving the government, it would be serving the country and I wouldn’t be doing it by becoming a member of that government". No Mandy. You don't do anything for your country. Unless your 'country' is the Empirical Dictatorship of the European Union. He'll probably get whatever job he wants in any Government. Isn't that how this all works these days? Why go through the inconvenience of the ballot box, eh Mandy? Remember what happened last time?

From running 'the country' even under the Conservatives to making sure he runs the Labour Party too - the Sunday Telegraph reports that Mandelson is to throw his support behind Ed Miliband for the future leadership of the party. Poor Gormless. Remember him? He hasn't even gone officially yet, and already Mandy's planning to work under the likely Tory Government while anointing/appointing Gormless's successor.

The Mail on Sunday has a poll which finds that people think Gormless is even worse than Neil Kinnock. They needed a poll to find out we think Gormless is not up to the job? Good grief.

Meanwhile, Muppet Sam the Eagle - sorry - Alistair Darling tells The Observer that the Labour leadership "has lost the will to live". Oh, shut up the lot of ya. Take some Prozac. You might be facing electoral wipeout, but in the words of Monty Python - always look on the bright side of life.

We, the British public, are also thinking about the demise of ZaNuLiebour and - for many of us - that makes us very, very happy indeed.

And finally, the News of the World has a story about Leona Lewis's breasts seeming to be bigger than the last time they looked. So, if you want to have a nosey at Leona's boobies, here's the link to click onto. Deary me...