The Evil Empire has 'chosen' it's first Emperor and the undemocratically anointed one is the current Belgian Prime Minister who will, hereafter, be known as Emperor von Rumpy-Pumpy.
As is pointed out by Dan Hannan, the American President was chosen by 300 million people after endless votes and contests amongst the American electorate. However, the Evil Empire's President has been 'chosen' by 27 people without the say so of the people they are meant to represent.
Now, they might argue that our national leaders are our democratic representatives. They do argue that, in fact. Problem is, no-one in Britain ever elected Gordon Brown as Prime Minister - no matter how many backflips one takes over that constitutional process.
So, our unelected Prime Minister was one of 27 people to anoint the Evil Empire's unelected Emperor von Rumpy-Pumpy.
They're having a laugh.
In fact, we can't help but suspect they chose Emperor von Rumpy-Pumpy to give his role that comedic value in Britain where we can all take the proverbial out of his name with as much gusto as we do out of the Eurovision Song Contest.
The European Union and the Eurovision Song Contest have much in common. Both are a farce and an insult - to democracy and music respectively. Both cost the British people an absolute fortune. And both are a waste of money.
But before we head too far into dragging Eurovision and all it's kitsch splendour into this, let us not stop there.
The new 'High Representative' (or Foreign Minister) of the Evil Empire is one Baroness Cathy Ashton. Of Britain.
Now, this is a woman who has never been elected by ANYBODY.
Yes, that's right, dear European citizen neighbour friend. She has not been elected by anyone in the United Kingdom to any sort of office by any section of the electorate. She was appointed a Baroness by Tony Blair in 1999.
We have to be honest, we had never even heard of her before. We had to look her up on Wikipedia. Virtually nobody in Britain has ever heard of her before. And we guarantee that absolutely nobody in Britain has ever voted for her.
We'll just call her Cathy, if you don't mind. Baroness? See what she did with that when you read the Wikipedia page...
So anyway, the new unelected Emperor of the Evil Empire was chosen by 27 people, one of whom was not elected by his fellow countrymen. They have chosen their Emperor without a democratic say-so from the people and appointed a High Representative who has never been elected by anybody in even her own country - a country where the majority of people do not even want to be in the European project anyway.
And what of Tony Blair? Poor Tony. If only he'd turned up to the Bilderberg meeting he was meant to be at. Or something. If he had, then he could have basked in Eurovision glory like von Rumpy-Pumpy and the woman from Britain that no-one has ever heard of let alone voted for.
Yes, we're thinking of that 1967 Sandie Shaw Eurovision classic - 'Puppet on a String'.
Question is, who is the puppet master? Fellow British patriots and friends across Europe... it's certainly not us, the people.
Do excuse us in Britain if we now work our damnedest for complete withdrawal from the Evil Empire project. No offence to any European friend or neighbour, but Britain wants her democracy and sovereignty back. This is not the way we do things around here.
Emperor von Rumpy-Pumpy, indeed...
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