A future fair for all?

What we think Gormless really meant:

"First, we must insist we're going to 'secure the recovery'. At no point must anyone mention national debt, credit ratings, gold reserves or double dip recessions.

Second, we must support new industries and future jobs in India by exporting all of our jobs there in the name of CO2 pollution. This will help my globalist pals exploit cheap workforces. As for the English, f*** 'em. They can serve each other coffee morning, noon and night. If they have anything to say about it, we'll declare them a 'domestic terrorist' and have them spirited away to a secret enclave we share with the Americans where such folk can be dealt with.

Third, while we will reduce the deficit in our paypackets caused by the ludicrous fuss over MPs expenses - and reduce it by half - we will also throw even more money at Marxist thinking quangos.

We must protect and not cut frontline services, especially as - under our plan for martial law - we intend to keep all of our current snitches, snoops and spies and hire around 250,000 domestic torturers and interrogators to use against any member of the British public who wants to think for themselves.

And fourth, we must stand against the many, not the few. We know that members of 'Al Qaeda' have a certain profile, but we're going to make life miserable for absolutely everyone. Especially the English and the Welsh. We will, of course, only make life hell for the Scottish folk on a proportional scale to the number of MPs they give us.

It will be a small concession before we totally eradicate all domestic national identity, when we sell the nations of the UK to the European Empire for two-n-sixpence.

As for trans-pair-ency, have I said too much?

Vote for me, you moronic idiots!

Love, Gordon x

P.S. Don't cry for me, Corus Steel workers. The truth is everyone made a shitload from carbon trading."