I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't swear...

So, who remembers that rather rubbish joke from childhood?

"I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't swear... oh f***ing hell, I've left my fags in the pub!"

And that's the theme for this post.

Cider drinkers from across the UK - but in particular, those in Somerset and the South-West area - are flocking to Facebook to stick two fingers up at Alistair Darling's budget and the 10% above inflation increase in tax on cider.

At the time of writing, 16,504 people had joined the Facebook protest group 'Leave Our Cider Alone'.

Meanwhile, Nick Hogan - the first and only pub landlord to have been jailed over defying the smoking ban and now UKIP's pub industry spokesman - says of the budget increases on alcohol tax: "It is apparent that this government has no understanding of this country and no love for its traditions. The pub trade is beleaguered enough already and to hit it with price increases of 10p per pint is a travesty. [Alistair Darling] obviously wants people to get their drinks from cheap supermarkets and hang around in parks, because that will be the result.
 Over 40 pubs a week are closing already, and he wants to accelerate the problem."

As for those of you who like a ciggie with your over-taxed cider or pint of real ale..?

Now the anti-smoking fascists want to ban us from smoking in our cars and in vast swathes of outdoor open spaces.

This follows a pointless rant at Blur and Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn who has been portrayed as Satan incarnate... for having a smoke on stage. Rock 'n' roll! Cold Steel Rain and Velvet Glove, Iron Fist pick up the rest of the story.

And we all know where the anti-smoking, anti-drinking, anti-fun police can go, don't we..?

How did it go again?

I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't swear.

F**k off, who are you to tell me I can't have a ciggie with me pint? You can go naff right off...