The Talking Clock: Parliament Returns or... Panto season gets under way and it's only September

The Talking Clock is an opinion based, independently authored, small 'c' conservative, libertarian blog.

"The laws of England are the birthright of the people thereof; and all the kings and queens, who shall ascend the throne of this realm, ought to administer the government of the same according to the said laws; and all their officers and ministers ought to serve them respectively, according to the same."
Act of Settlement, 1700/01

"And I do declare that no foreign prince, person, prelate, state or potentate hath or ought to have any
jurisdiction, power, superiority, pre-eminence or authority, ecclesiastical or spiritual, within this realm."
Bill of Rights, 1689
- an important and still exisiting part of OUR both written and unwritten English constitution

Monday, 6 September 2010

Parliament Returns or... Panto season gets under way and it's only September

The peace could not last.

Yes, ladies and gents, those authors of Great British misery, the powerless to do anything Members of Parliament return to their theatre of charades today for more pantomime tomfoolery.

The synopsis for this season's offering looks like comical fayre.

Our swashbuckling anti-hero, Call Me Dave 'Cast Iron' Cameron, seeks to destroy the wicked Real Conservatives before the clock strikes midnight and his chauffeur driven carriage turns back into a pumpkin as his backbenchers throw down the gauntlet of a leadership challenge.

The Big Bad Wolf is to be played by Sir Nicholas of Cleggydom, who comes cunningly disguised as Buttons. Throughout his appearances on stage, the electorate shout "he's behind you!" as the Seven Dwarves of the Liberal Democrats - Dopey, Sleepy, Barmy, Drippy, Wishy-Washy, Smarmy and Pratt - hopelessly fail to notice that it is their cunningly disguised leader who is cannibalising their party (and the Merry Old Land Of Ours).

Opposite them, the Ugly Sisters - David and Ed - flounce around desperately trying to persuade several Prince Charmings (played by Peter Mandelson and the Trade Union barons) that it is their dainty little Marxist feet which are a perfect fit for the glass slipper of the Labour leadership.

Baron Hard-up, George Osborne, returns with his catchy catchphrase of "we're all in this together" as he keeps 60 million Cinderellas in complete poverty while swanning around on sun-drenched yachts with people named Rothschild.

All exist in a state of uneasy harmony when joining together to conduct their quasi-religious chorus chant of "we worship you, oh Master" at the temple of that Dastardly Dick, the Evil Emperor von Rumpy-Pumpy.

Suggestions of potential drama queens to play Panto Dame will not be approved in the comments area in case they are misinterpreted as somehow strangely topical.

Meanwhile, theatre-goers, all boys and girls who colour in their AV referendum form with a big red pen and the words "B*ll*cks... I want to vote on the EU" will be entered into a non-existent prize draw (cancelled after the fiscal profligacy of the Hapless Miser, Prudence Macavity - the lesser spotted former Prime Minister who nobody ever elected).

Free eggs and rotten tomatoes will be provided at regular intervals for the chucking thereof.

Enjoy... else blog.

And remember: WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

I'll be over here watching V for Vendetta with a box of tissues at my side...

1 comments:

hedgehog6 September 2010 18:36
Fine piece, couldn't agree more, but it's Princes Charming, not Prince Charmings. But then, only a nit-picker would go to the trouble of pointing that out!

Yours, nit-picker.
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Forever... Diana

...genuine goodness is threatening to those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum.

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