The Talking Clock: Poor Sunderland. Your football team is doomed.

The Talking Clock is an opinion based, independently authored, small 'c' conservative, libertarian blog.

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Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Poor Sunderland. Your football team is doomed.

Just a quick sympathy message for supporters of Sunderland Football Club.

Apparently, David Miliband is in line to become the club's Vice Chairman.

Taking his track record as Foreign Secretary and his actions regarding the European Union into account...

...this probably means that he's coming into the club just to sell all of your best players to Newcastle United, Hull City, Middlesbrough, and Darlington.

Well, when we say 'sell', what we mean is that - based on his track record - he'll probably sign contracts so that Sunderland's best players go to the aforementioned teams and Sunderland will agree to pay ten times above the market price of each player to their rivals, just so that those rivals can take the club's assets off your hands.

For each game, his track record on the EU suggests he'll probably decree that the manager of the opposing team for that match should get to name Sunderland's squad and decide on Sunderland's tactics. As an act of being kind to his neighbours, he will probably make your goalkeeper wear a blindfold whenever Sunderland play a home match.

And then, when Sunderland Football Club is relegated, devoid of any talent and virtually bankrupt, you can kick him out... if he hasn't walked already because you didn't tell him how much you simply adore him.

If his treacherous track record as Foreign Secretary regarding the EU is anything to go by...

Poor Sunderland. Probably.

1 comments:

The Boiling Frog12 January 2011 16:35
Marvelous, I wonder how long it will be before Sunderland's next game is described as a potential banana skin (sorry).
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