Sunday Paper Review: 2nd January 2011

New Year, new rant...

I don't know if you're like me, but I'm seriously beginning to suffer from cabin fever.

If this Christmas and New Year epic where all human life drags on in an endless state of near-suspension for a month goes on for much longer, where people who you know who actually *do* things with life are all off on holiday and uncontactable... I mean, I'm sure the near month long period of doing absolutely nothing is great (or hell?) if you're the ruddy Walton family or if you have the mental brain power of the average X Factor viewer, but for the rest of us who want to get on and do something meaningful in life...

And now we still have to have two more Bank Holidays? For what? To recover from the getting fat and vegetating in front of the television that most have been doing since mid-December already? Strewth...

Anyway, here's what's not happening in the world, according to the Sunday newspapers.

The Sunday Express details how: "Millions of innocent people have their details stored on police databases after reporting a crime."

We have nothing to add that hasn't already been said in the report by a spokesperson for Privacy International who is quoted as saying: "There's a point where the police stop seeing members of the public as the people to be protected and rather see them all as potential criminals. Until now, this only happened in non-democratic states, but I fear that this line has been crossed in ours."

Britain, the banana republic governed by unlawful offshore corporate governments who have been handed power in successive acts of treachery by the lawless, expenses swindlers in Parliament.

But YOU'RE the people on the database. Nice, huh?

The Independent on Sunday exposes how the Coalition Government is effectively acting to cover-up "information regarding the UK's complicity in torture and rendition flights". Information being requested by the All Party Parliamentary Group on Extraordinary Rendition has not been delivered, "even though it relates to decisions made under Labour," the newspaper reports.

Well, what did you expect? We're seeing a constant pattern. Why does this country never change direction, irrespective of which party we vote into power? Answer: in part, due to the Sir Humphrey's who we do not elect and cannot get rid of - all of whom elected Ministers are seemingly utterly terrified of upsetting.

The Sunday Telegraph has a story which suggests that Labour are to team up with EU-sceptic Conservatives (all forty-odd out of over three hundred of them) in order to vote down or strengthen the European Union Bill. This is the much touted flagship policy of Call Me Dave which promises a 'referendum lock' on the further transfer of powers to Brussels. You know... the smoke and mirrors guff which isn't worth the paper that it's written on. Who'd have thought it... Labour opposing something to do with the European Union. Funny what happens in Opposition. It's like a replay of their opposition to Conservative Edward Heath's act of treachery against the nation state, all over again... until they get into power, in which event they'll betray us at every given opportunity as all three of the main parties always do.

See the note on Sir Humphrey's, as above.

Mark Pritchard MP - secretary of the backbench Conservative 1922 Committee - writes an article for the Mail on Sunday, firing a warning salvo across the bows of 'purple plotters' looking to form fait accompli electoral pacts or mergers with the Liberal Democrats.

He writes: "Over the next five years, as the European courts continue to encroach on individual freedoms, overrule our own courts and gnaw away at British parliamentary sovereignty, and as the Liberal Democrats, mostly unwittingly, inexorably steer Government policies Leftwards, hard-working and over-taxed Britons will be drawn to look for something new come the next Election..."

UKIP, anyone?

Pritchard is backed by the Mail on Sunday itself. In a strong editorial, the newspaper appears to be losing patience with David Cameron and warns that Conservative supporters have become: "...increasingly disturbed by the apparent enthusiasm with which Mr Cameron and his closest allies have seized the chance to collaborate with the Liberal Democrats."

The people over at The Observer are seemingly the only people in the world interested in anything that Ed Miliband has to say. Apparently, he wants to "reach out to Liberal Democrats" (yawn!) and will ask the people of Oldham and Saddleworth to use the by-election there as a referendum on the Coalition. He will, the newspaper reports, use a speech to say: "I urge the voters of Oldham and Saddleworth to make the government sit up and listen."

I, too, urge the people of Oldham and Saddleworth to make the government sit up and listen... by voting for UKIP's Paul Nuttall.

And finally... David Beckham and Tottenham are all over the sports pages, but The People can't be too thrilled with the English sporting hero. Why else would they chose to illustrate the story with the worst photograph of Becks of all time?